Dear Sugar,
I was recently diagnosed with a terminal disease that required surgery. My husband is a doctor so he was completely involved in my treatments and all. However, somewhere down the line, our sex life became nonexistent although we are still very much in love.
Now my husband is suggesting we swing in order to fix our issues. He says a lot of married people swing these days. I want to try it but I’m confused. What do you think?
- Dara
Dear Dara,
First things first, you don’t have to do it. Just because your husband has a notion to swing, doesn’t mean you have to go along with it.
Who cares what it is, how common it is these days, how cool it is, what it will do for your sex life or what I think of it? What’s important is what YOU think of it. It’s your marriage and due to some circumstances, your husband independently wants to change the terms of it. Are you fine with that?
If you decide to go along with it, you’re going to be a swinger too. In that case, you’ll need to work out some guidelines and set some boundaries. How do you avoid bringing home STDs? Who is an acceptable partner? How much time are you investing into swinging?
Personally, I’m all for doing whatever you can to save a good marriage that got dealt but I’m not inclined to think swinging can fix it. I want to be positive because you said love still exists in your marriage and I see you want to try anything to fix it. Think it through, stand up for what you want and assert your values
I hope I haven’t taken all the sexy out of swinging.
Best wishes.