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Does Every Couple Fight on Their Wedding Day

It is not that uncommon for couples to fight on their wedding day but every couple? No. The weeks leading up to the wedding are stressful for sure, and stressed people are more short-tempered, less tolerant, less measured. So there are likely to be more fights at this time than probably at any other time in your relationship. However, if you make sure these fights are handled properly, there is no reason why you should be hissing from the corner of your mouth on your wedding day when you should be eating cake.
The things you fight about while engaged are a fore-glimpse of the fights you'll have in your marriage and the way you handle pre-nuptial disagreements sets the tone for later. That's deep right?

So what are you fighting about anyway?

If it's about little details like the cost of his tie, the song you'll dance in to, his lack of interest in wedding colors... then you're fine most likely, and the stress is just getting to you. You're probably two people with strong opinions that just need to chill out and realize that this wedding is happening anyway, so shun silly details. Go see a funny movie and have a good laugh together.

If on the other hand, it's about heavier stuff like money, you need to arrange a bride and groom meeting to discuss it calmly. Money is always a major factor in wedding planning and also in marriage. You both have different ideas on how it should be spent. Maybe you want to spend more on your dress, makeup, a dessert bar; but he wants to save it for the honeymoon or maybe his guest list is getting way too long. The way forward often is to compromise. Will his family pitch in to cover the cost of those guests? Could you go for a less expensive dress or ditch the second (or third) dress?Talk about it and agree on a way forward.

If it is about differences in tradition or religion, you have to communicate. Maybe he/she doesn't even know how strongly you feel about the matter. Maybe they felt sidelined or discounted when you pushed for your own way, and are only insisting stubbornly because they are hurt. Try a new approach. Don't try to "win" because you're not opponents on a battlefield. Let your partner know that you are on the same side making decisions and you just want both of you to be happy. Then work out a compromise.

If the fights are about real heavy duty baggage: Infidelity, massive debt, major lies, a secret love child; there will be every reason to be angry at just the presence of this person within a five-mile radius. This may be a reason to postpone until you're sure it's not a huge mistake, or call it off altogether.
Happily though, a majority of pre-wedding fights can be successfully resolved, and you can have a drama-free wedding day. Remember; relax, communicate and compromise.


Written by Sandra N.U.