Dear Sugar,
I'm quite upset and confused about the situation I am in. I have this friend that I've known for over 12 years. Back when we were in uni, I had someone I was dating but broke up with because of mentally, physically and sexually abusive.
Of recent, my friend started dating and talks so well about this person, but she always hid his identity. At some point, I didn't believe that she was dating, we all thought it was imaginary.
Only for a few days back, did she have a seat with me and told me it's my ex, and that he's changed. This is the same person that I suffered mental, emotional and sexual abuse from and she knew all about my pain. She even cried at some point and helped me brace up the courage to leave the guy. I don't even know what to do.
Keep me Anon
Dear Anon,
This must be a very difficult feeling for you; your good friend dating your abuser. As a friend, you should remind her of your experience. Let her understand how her decision to date your abuser will affect your relationship.
In the case where she doesn't budge, and it gives you bad memories, then it's time to let go or be friends from a distance. Even though it's normal to look out for your friend, she already has an idea of your experience when you were in a relationship with him.
Of course, this will hurt, but it will save you from the catastrophic effect of being around your friend and your abuser.
Wish you all the best,
Love,
Sugar
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