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The traditional wedding also doubles as the Engagement ceremony in Nigeria. It is the part of the wedding process where the bride and groom get to explore and portray the richness and diversity in their culture. Engagement parties are usually really colourful and memorable with a beautiful mixture of creative attires, accessories, music, food etc.
Planning an engagement can be expensive and stressful. However, it's worth every penny and effort for everyone involved. It is no news that Nigeria consists of various ethnic groups; the tribes, culture, ceremony, food, rites etc. might differ but they are similar because the result is the same joining of the bride and groom traditionally.
Sometimes, many may wonder why some people bother with traditional engagement rites, here are 10 engagement activities and their significance.
#1. The Engagement list
This is a list of required items given to the groom’s family by the bride’s family to be presented on the engagement ceremony day. In some cultures, the content of the list is not cast in stone. Sometimes, the groom’s family might haggle to reduce the items other times, this option is non-existent. The list is just a metaphorical way of the groom’s family showing appreciation to the family of the bride for how well they have taken care of the bride. The items are usually shared amongst family members and sometimes, members of the extended family.
#2. Exchange of Letters
This is done mostly in the Yoruba culture, the groom’s family comes with a proposal letter which is read by the youngest person in the bride’s family thereafter, the bride’s family give an acceptance letter to show their agreement with the proposal and the ceremony continues.
#3. The Basket of Fruits
This is one of the many things offered by the groom’s family to the bride’s family. It signifies fruitfulness.
#4. Payment of Bride Price/Dowry
The engagement ceremony is also where the bride price/dowry which was agreed upon is given to the bride’s family.
#5. Moderator/Mediator
This is the person in charge of the exchange that occurs between the groom and bride’s families. Over the years they have evolved to be called MCs, but the traditional mediators are still very active.
#6. Prayers
One can never go wrong with prayers. What is a traditional marriage without some form of prayer or well wishes for the groom and bride? It cannot be ruled out as it is an important part of every tribe and culture.
#7. You May Now Carry The Bride
This shows the groom lifting the bride in his arms to show everyone she is his wife. It's also a sign of strength and a confirmation that he will always be there to protect his bride.
#8. Igba Nkwu
This is also known as the wine carrying ceremony and it is practised by the Igbos. This act shows the bride weaving her way through the crowd/throngs of men in search of her man who she gives the wine and he drinks it up. That act from the groom signifies acceptance.
#9. Cap Placement
This is very common in the Yoruba traditional ceremony as the bride dances to the groom and places the cap in her hand on his head signifying her acceptance of him as her husband.
#10. Idobale (Prostrate)
A Yoruba traditional marriage is not complete without the groom prostrating for his bride. He does this with his friends and alone. It signifies how much the groom really needs his bride and also him doing whatever it takes to have her.
The aforementioned might seem trivial but it is important to families and it also shows that there is beauty in the Nigerian traditional marriage. With the change its times, a lot of activities have been moderated but the aforementioned are still carried out as they are as old as time.